There he sharpened his pen, took out a sheet of this whitest paper, raised the lid on his ink well, and began to write.

After a few quiet days, and days of turbulence, turbulent times, welcoming myself back to the blogosphere. The above graph prob'bly sums up my present better than words could. (The atmospheric view out of the window I borrowed from Matisse).

I will tell you this much: there are few wellsprings of strength more consistently reliable than those found in the eye of the storm.

Past attraction to letting the Self get caught up in the current, chalk it up to inexperience. And to lack of faith.

Getting it right, with its constantly shifting frames of reference ... those of us (fully) engaged in life know that reality can be highly situational. Who am I to resist the lure of Circum's Dance? What one person knows to be a "lie" may well describe another's deepest conviction, at least in the moment the "lie" is uttered. Fantasy and delusional trance are so accessible, and marketed with such force and frequency, it looks like a game of manipulation, when the truth is, more frightening: they don't even exist.

Fact: our creator did not short change us. To the contrary, we humans have been especially blessed in this regard. Of all creation we are the only ones who are more than mere creatures. We in turn are also creators. We are both the workers and the work - and have been given choice about the company we keep.

This exclusivity causes some of us to experience it as an onslaught of responsibility. In lieu of bucking down and develop the ability to respond, some seek serendipity in the company of fantasy and rational lies. An unfortunate few go on to make choices that later lead to pills of trademarked colors, 12-step programs and rehab clinics. The rest of us, more sensibly, blog, read each others blog and ...

Have you ever been asked why you're not enjoying the abundant life?

Has the question ever been put to you? Maybe one day it will. It has only just recently been put to me for the first time. I'm no spring chicken.

Fell right into the trap, too, like a spring chicken would, actually. The trap of letting the thought in - the thought that life isn't abundant, that there's something missing, that the universe is made of lack.

There is no such thing as an unabundant life. Life, by definition, is abundant.

But thoughts don't know that, nor do they care. So once inside, the unabundant thought dutifully did its job, locating plenty of reasons, explanations and excuses, even facts. Hard to believe all the stuff that comes up once no stone is left unturned. The stand-out rationale it came up with: the abundant life was never meant for you.

By the time I caught myself and became aware, I was fully prepared to answer the question.

Instead I showed the thought back out. Spent a little time counting my blessings instead. Felt better. Thankful that someone should have asked me the question, after all this time.

Realized that the one who had asked, only did so knowing beforehand that I would stumble upon the only answer sooner or later. It took me a little while, which is alright.

The episode reminds me of when, on Easter Sunday, I would hide painted eggs for my son only in places I knew he'd find.

My blog - beatschindler.com - is about "creating a life you love". It  touches on a wide variety of topics.

I keep studying them all because I'm interested in them. Because I enjoy blogging about them.

Everyone I admire is making their living by doing what they enjoy doing. Follow your bliss. It's the sensible thing to do. In an effort to remain sensible myself I've made myself ...

A stand-up coach :-]

I accept people as they are. I'm not trying to help, change or improve people. But I will gladly accept if people find their lives improved as a result of my work.

The bubbling stream that flows out of the mountain - it does not think of the ocean. It is merely doing its thing. If a thirsty traveler helps himself, it's fine. The wind that speaks to the trees, or to fields of gold - it does not do so for the advancement of music. If a traveler stops to listen and is delighted, that's okay.

I blog in this spirit.

Do you need coaching - from a coach such as I?

If you think so - "Yes."

In the same spirit as anybody who goes to a psychiatrist should have their head examined. Even though there's double-meaning ... if you are concerned with yourself and feel a psychiatrist can help, then of course you need to go. Likewise, if you are concerned about the quality of your life or about where your life is taking you, and feel that a life coach can help, then you must do it. After all, only people who persist become wise.

I know of  many reasons for working with a coach such as I, but it doesn't change the fundamentals. If you think so - "Yes".

Almost everybody is looking for direction. Not for the same direction, of course, but for direction nevertheless. "When I was younger - so much younger than today - I never needed anybody's help in any way."  That was the Beatles in 1965. It's 46 years later and most everybody gets it now.

We live in a somewhat confusing, unpredictable, turbulent, wayward world. It's changing constantly. Feelings of loneliness and of helplessness are not uncommon. Hearts, minds and bodies aching galore.

Entire industries are taking advantage of it, while pursuing their own corporate health, not yours.

If you'd rather take your destiny into your own hands, coaches such as I are not that hard to find.

I'm but a click away. Be bold. Get the ball rolling.

Click on the 'Contact' tab and use the form, or email me at beatcoach@gmail.com

For additional information, click on the "Home" tab. It'll take you to "About This Blog".

Yesterday - Thanksgiving Day - we introduced the Thanksgiving Game.

Guests at the dinner table were invited to share three things they were thankful for. To spice it up, you were not allowed to repeat what anyone else said.

Everyone wanted to go first, afraid we'd run out of things to be thankful for by the time it was your turn. As if thankfulness were food on the table - the more you eat, the less for others.

But thankfulness is not a zero-sum game.  The more we gave thanks, the more thankfulness filled the air. We could have gone round the table a few more times and not run out of new reasons.

The Thanksgiving Game makes anyone who plays it at least once, better at thanksgiving by the time the next Thanksgiving rolls around. Guaranteed.

It's a great game not just on Thanksgiving ... but year round ... complete with happy side effects. Highly recommended.

Please help me welcome my guest blogger this week, Debbie Bills.
[Want to be a guest blogger at beatschindler.com - covering topics related
to personal growth, self-development and self-improvement? Apply here]

Do you have a favorite piece of music that you keep quiet about? Maybe you like watching all those reality shows? Do you have a little guilty pleasure?

We all have one or two pleasures that we don’t like to admit to. It might be that show on television that everybody moans about but you really enjoy. Maybe you relax by reading celebrity magazines between all those intellectual books. Whatever it is, these are the things that we enjoy and we even get a little bit of pleasure out of them being our little secret.

There’s nothing wrong with them! These are the little things we use to pamper ourselves, and sometimes we need that little rush of pleasure they give us. They are our way of dropping out of the rat race for a short period of time. The dictionary describes pleasure as frivolous enjoyment and this lack of seriousness in whatever the activity is helps your brain disengage the stress in your life.

Think of Yourself from Time to Time

There are times that you know that report needs writing or you know there’s a pile of ironing to do that you need a ladder to get to the top of, but you sit down with that magazine or that jigsaw for half an hour, and a nice hot, steaming drink. Maybe at the end of a long day you pour yourself a nice large drink once in a while. Sometimes we need to switch off, and these little things help us do that. By switching off for those few minutes you are helping to calm yourself down and enabling yourself to take stock of your lot from a more peaceful perspective.
The truth is, these little things are our way of relieving stress. They may not be all that bad but we add an edge to them by the way we feel. By indulging in something we feel we shouldn’t, we add a thrill to it, making it more interesting than it really is.

De-stress Yourself

Stress is the brain’s way of trying to cope with changes in our lives. It’s not about beating stress it’s about keeping it under control and making the best of your life. Too much negative stress can have a detrimental effect on you, so working one or two of these little pleasures into your life is like your own personal safety valve. It’s a way of letting off some steam and getting yourself back to the relaxed you. I have friend whose mom knew when things had gotten too much for her for one day and used to disappear into her bedroom with a romance novel and a cup of coffee and shut the door. If she stayed she would have yelled when she didn’t mean to; something she didn’t want to do. Just taking a few minutes out for her made all the difference to the day, and to the day of those around her.

Stop … and Relax

I know another friend reacts differently to the stress in her life, and is always refusing to take time out and enjoy herself. She seems to find it hard to switch off from the things that worry her. Rather than thinking negatively, it’s better to look on things in a positive light and then they become a lot easier to handle. I try to spend time with my friend to talk and change her routine a little. Just spending five minutes can make such a difference to our outlook on life.

These guilty pleasures hold their own little secret to our happiness. Once in a while when you feel low, why not put that movie on and have a good cry, pick up that trashy novel or stick on that piece of music and have a dance round the room, it’ll do you wonders.

What are your guilty pleasures? Tell me about them in the comment area and lets have some fun!
Debbie

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Debbie Bills shares the Secret to Happiness. Everyone can find the happiness they richly deserve by visiting Debbie’s blog at http://www.happymakernow.com
Definitely pick up her FREE e-book “Stop Being a Donut and Enjoy Life” at http://www.enjoylifeok.com

To achieve personal growth, to marry and have children is a sure bet (another sure option is to start your own business). However, the primary responsibility of a parent is to awaken the spirit of the child, and all too often the experience of the child is everything but. Indeed, many kids have their spirits broken instead.

The Sorry State Of Parenting

When measured by results and outcomes of parenting, it's clear we have in this country and around the world outstanding and poor parents at the same time. That said, in sheer numbers, poor parenting seems rather the more popular of the two. This sorry state of parenting is at least in part due to parents' inability to respond to the challenge - parenting looks easy from the distance, yet is hard in actual practice. Many politicians and religious leaders (leaders?) are making matters worse by declaring, in effect, that values are not a question of principle but of circumstance, that obstruction is the smart thing to do, and all choices are either-or and you cannot have both.

The Challenge: An Unknown Future

People who are now in their 50's can expect to live another 50 years. (By comparison, as mere 200 years ago the average life expectancy was 37 years, and 100 years ago it was 47 years). And as creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson points out - in the enclosed TED talk (click here), he challenges the way we're educating our children -  children starting school now will begin to retire starting in 2070. How do we parent ourselves and our children for so much future and for so many unknowns? I believe security in the future will increasingly come from confidence in the ability to grow bigger than our challenges. Material possessions, acquired knowledge, status and past successes will remain important, but less so.

Yet Every Day Is Another Chance To Be Better Parents Ourselves

Every day we are given a new chance to be the best parent we can be - for our children and, as importantly, for our inner child. It is easy, too (all things being relative). To "awaken the spirit of the child," it is enough to learn to look at yourself through kind eyes. If you do, you will naturally catch yourself doing things right more often, rather than focus on mistakes much of the time, and build on strengths, rather than correct deficiencies. Kind eyes will bring about the care and understanding needed to nurture your spirit. Kind eyes work equally well for your children, of course, provided you keep in mind that you are not living through your children. Your kids have been given their own spirit and their own path. Awakening and nurturing their spirit does not mean to gain control over them. Kahlil Gibran sums it up beautifully in his poem, "On Children." To read it, click here (then click on the "View Full Screen" icon located in the upper right). Alternatively, if you're interested in how dolphins do their parenting, click here.

Relevant Quotes

• “Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” - Napoleon Hill
• “We go about our daily lives understanding almost nothing of the world. Except for children - who don’t know enough not to ask the important questions - few of us spend much time wondering why nature is the way it is.” - Carl Sagan
• A four year old child’s next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his father asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.” - Anonymous
• “It's difficult to make forecasts, especially about the future.” - George Bernard Shaw
  

Connecting to the domain of personal growth and self development, Chris Brogan, professional speaker, community and social media guru and author of the New York Times bestseller "Trust Agents", on his website has done a review of a book by Nick Morgan, "Give Your Speech, Change the World: How to Move Your Audience to Action." The reason I bring it up here on my blog is much symmetry between Chris' topic and the topic of recent posts here on my blog - learning and learning techniques.

Both speaking and learning we acquire and practice naturally, almost effortlessly. Therefore, learning to speak and to learn appears rather superfluous at first sight, or even an oxymoron when it comes to learning to learn. We are not sure what to expect of it, or we are outright skeptical. However, when we do give it a try in spite of everything, our reactions are frequently along the lines of Chris Brogan's reaction to Nick Morgan's book about speaking - "well, I took tons from it, and you might, too, either as a beginner or someone with some speeches under your belt."

By all means, read Nick Morgan's book, and at the same time give learning about learning a try too - you might find yourself taking tons from it. Yes, there is a difference between (just) learning and learning (consciously) - "Learn Consciously, Rock Your World: How To Move Yourself Confidently In The Direction Of Your Dreams."

Responsibility, responsibility - life's full of it, enough already, give me a break! Read about it, too?! Why should I? It is important? You better believe it! Your ability to respond - responsibility - plays a  key role in shaping your life and your destiny. It is so important that all by itself it can make the difference between success and failure.

What IS Response-Ability, Anyway?

Your personal ability, or lack thereof, to respond to life - to broken relationships, broken teeth, canceled flights, winning the lottery, landing your dream job, finding the love of your life, ice cream and bad dreams - determines how you perceive life and therefore, how you handle the challenges and opportunities that come with it. Let's say your ability to respond is one foot tall and the challenge or opportunity in front of you is six feet tall, you would back off, versus the other way around you would take it in stride. Whether the size of the ability and of the obstacle is real or not is immaterial - your perception alone counts. You get the drift.

For many years, the ability to respond was even believed to be the key factor between success and failure. In the meantime we know conclusively it is not your response-ability, but your self-image. But the two are closely linked and enhancing one automatically enhances the other, and vice versa, so it makes sense to look at the two together. Increasing your self-image and your response-ability is easy to do, and can be done throughout life, regardless of age. Here's how.

5 Easy Steps To Grow Your Ability To Respond

Step # 1: Some attitudes and emotions will diminish your ability to respond. They are: helplessness, self-doubt, shame, guilt, apathy, regret, fear and anger. (It doesn't mean these are "bad" emotions, only that if entertained for prolonged or excessive periods of time, or even constantly, they weaken your ability to respond).  Move away from these emotions.

Step # 2: Another set of attitudes and emotions will strengthen your ability to respond to life. They are: courage, resolve, acceptance, intelligence, love, joy and peace. Move towards these emotions. Invite them in, entertain them as you would friends.

Step # 3: Stop blaming others. Be responsible. And don't blame yourself, either. Simply do not see setbacks in life as reflecting poorly on yourself or others. Rather, see the setbacks and successes for what they are - events limited in size and duration - "these too shall pass."

Step # 4: Do not hope for smaller problems, rather work towards growing bigger than your challenges. Step 5 happens naturally, as a by-product of steps 1 to 4, however you can accelerate the process. Remember past successes, regardless of how insignificant they may appear to you know. Remember their significance at the time.

Step # 5: Cease seeing life as alternatively fair and unfair. It is not what life is all about, and doing it anyway is, well, pointless. People in judgment of life are typically concerned about life's unfairness only when they are at the short end of the stick, and more often than not, the perceived unfairness only serves them as an excuse for acting irresponsibly - for blaming others for the “bad” things in their life. To their children they explain that life is not fair and everyone ends up believing it, making  it a self-fulfilling prophesy. But irresponsibility – the unwillingness to exercise one’s ability to respond – eats a hole in the soul of the person who adopts it and over time it spirals out of control. Response-ability is not about how we would respond if we were someone else or if we had someone else's life or if things were different. Responsibility is about how we respond to the hand we have been dealt.

Relevant Quotes

• Learn to wish that everything should come to pass exactly as it does. - Epictetus
• Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom. - Jim Rohn
  
• In dreams begin responsibilities. - W.B. Yeats
• History can be written in a simple little formula: Challenge, Response. - Arnold Toynbee
• The price of greatness is responsibility. - Sir Winston Churchill
• It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously. - Sir Peter Ustinov
• An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. - Don Marquis

Personal growth (self development, personal development) and success often require learning. Learning can be expensive, but some of the things needed for success we can learn from cats, for free.

Stretch

Cats are so much more advanced, stretching-wise. Humans, myself included, if they stretch at all, don't stretch enough. Stretching is free and therefore doesn't have commercial appeal. Imagine watching as many commercials for stretching as for drinks and cars - there would be a whole lot more stretching going on. Well, in the absence of commercials, watch the cats, and before long you'll stretch more.

Breathe Right

Do you know among mammals, humans are the only species that breathes through the mouth at the slightest effort? Horses, cheetahs and, yes, cats still breathe through their nostrils even at full stretch, such as when racing at top speed. But many humans switch to breathing through their mouth at the slightest effort, such as when lacing their shoes or climbing a flight of stairs. If you want vibrant energy, take a hint from your cat (or from your neighbor's cat), breathe through your nostrils. Make deep breathing exercises an integral part of your habits. Rediscover there's more to your nose than to serve as support for seeing glasses.

In A Heartbeat

Cats' ability to go from sound asleep to ready to pounce in a heartbeat, is amazing. As if they had their paw permanently on an on-off switch somewhere inside. Don't you just wish you knew their secret? To sleep a lot? Hm-mm, something to think about.

Hold No Grudges

Like people, cats have great talent for showing disapproval when upset, but unlike some people, cats do not hold grudges. To forgive and move on is easy for cats because cats are not upset with people, only with peoples' behavior. Behavior is much easier to forgive than people. Cats know instinctively that people are not their behaviors - an important lesson we can learn from cats.

Do you know other stuff we could or should learn from cats? Please let me know - I'd be happy to post an expanded "Life Enhancers We Can Learn From Cats" with your comments.

What has emerged about Tiger Woods in recent weeks suggests compulsive behavior on the border of addiction, brought to a halt by a crash heard around the world, and now followed by recovery, personal growth and self development. In short, what Tiger did was terrible ... but media’s coverage of it is even worse. Like most people I’m curious to know, but I don’t enjoy the rancor of main stream media. Probably because I also don’t enjoy bullfights. I went to see a bullfight with my father on our first trip to Spain, way back when, thinking it was the thing to do. But instead of a fight we saw the torture and killing of an animal specifically raised for the occasion. We left mid-way through, pale-faced, stomach churning, crowds cheering.

Let’s See If It Hurts

One thing I don’t enjoy about the news coverage, is that right after an accident is not the time to tear people apart. Except in the  animal world, of course, where an accident basically turns you into dinner for other animals. But we’re talking human race here. If humans come across people with broken limbs, or broken hearts, or broken spirits  – do they stab them with steely knives, or help them back onto their feet? How many of us are on our feet, I guess answers the question.

Your Behaviors Are Not You

Tiger did what he did, but the Tiger Woods story is by now much bigger than Tiger himself, of course. Damage is also inflicted on the reading public that takes what the media dishes out at face value. I’m thinking particularly of the damage done by media’s portrayal of people as being their behaviors. To propagate the myth that people are their behaviors is a white lie, at best. People are not their behaviors. Your behaviors are not you. Behaviors are just that - behaviors.

“Being” – who you are – is creation’s gift to you. “Behavior” – what you do – is what you do with the gift. The gift you don’t control, but the choices and decisions about it are yours entirely (except special circumstances). To change who you are might not be possible (it shouldn’t even be attempted, quite to the contrary!), but to change your behavior can be done in a heartbeat (or in the instant of a crash). Even in cases where lasting change takes time and effort, behavioral change is definitively possible. Any child can do it. Kids change naturally as they grow up. Actors change behavior at will. You can do it, too. Remain strong in the knowledge if you change your behavior you change your life – no matter what the media says.

If you're skeptical or would like to know more, there exist systems to facilitate change, as well as specific techniques to achieve desired emotional states, such as happiness, or unhappiness if it's what you desire. Happiness is a habit. Unfortunately, so is unhappiness.

Good Choices Often Come From Bad Ones

Whether Tiger is a good or a bad person is immaterial – either way he made the very poor choices that led to what’s now likely the greatest test of his life. Unlike the media, I don’t think the test is about ex-lovers, business partners, money, golf or action. At this level of out of control, you’re being tested for survival. When you’re acting out like Tiger did, you’re dealing with delusional trance and insanity. It’s like being anesthetized during an operation - you feel the pain only after you wake up. The same thing happens when waking up from a delusional trance. For having been there done that, I don’t wish the experience on anyone, not even my enemies.

Before It's Too Late

In addition to providing fodder for the tabloid press, may “the crash heard around the world” be an example for the millions of little tigers out there still hunting for bigger and better sex, again and again, blinded by the delusion it exists. Like Tiger before them, these are people who convince themselves doing wrong is alright as long as you don’t get caught, and the best way to deal with the fact that a fool is someone who knows the difference between right and wrong, and chooses to do wrong anyway, is by pretending you don’t know. All of them may not crash their cars at 2.30 am, but all of them will crash their life and reputation at some juncture … unless they change their behavior and their life before it’s too late. I hope Tiger’s crash and my coverage of it might help to do just that.

Prevention is better than cure. Tiger had a coach to excel at golf. Wanna bet he's now adding a coach (or two) to excel at life, too? Don't make the same mistake. Hire your life coach now, before you wished you had or regret you didn't.

Relevant Quotes

• “What win I if I gain the thing I seek? A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy? Who buys a minute’s myrth to wail a week, or seeks eternity to get a toy? For one sweet grape who will divine destroy?” – Shakespeare
• “Why go out for burger when you can have steak at home?” – Paul Newman
• “All communication is either a loving response or a cry for help.” – A Course In Miracles