Personal Growth Through Focus On Strengths

Hi Beat,

Thanks for opening minds again. :) Actually, while reading this, what retained in my mind all over again is “Do Not Focus On Results, Instead Focus On The Cause Of Results” because it's true, we complain mostly to those unsuccessful results not knowing that what we have done is actually the ones making it wrong. I have learned that even if you're still starting up in the business, you should be careful enough to plan, think of what you really like to pursue and how will you get great results in the future by starting things slowly but surely. Of course, it takes a lot of hard work but in the end, after all those struggles everything will just run smoothly in place.

Tyrone

Tyrone, going from “results guaranteed” to “results maybe” takes a leap of faith. I'm often reminded of – and encouraged by – farmers who work all season long without any guarantee of a harvest (droughts, plagues, storm, etc). Funnily, when I had a “guaranteed” regular paychecks lifestyle I was less comfortable and less confident about the future than now. It might be your experience, too. All the best! Beat

Hi Beat,

An enlightening article, thank you. I wish I had the benefit of your thinking years ago! Focusing on the cause of results is so true, and well expressed. Finding one's own strengths is also such sound advice. Somthing I have not always been good at, instead comparing myself to others. I recommend everyone should take a peek at your videos, which are also excellent. Thanks again.

Lance, thanks for your feedback. Like you, I wish I had the benefit of my thinking years ago :-) Reminds me of a song – “I'm younger than that now” (Dylan?), and of a question I once heard: “1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10 – what's missing?” Like everyone else, smartypants me concluded 3, 6, 9 or multiples of 3. The man then went on to explain, “Nothing's missing. All the numbers I gave you are there. Whatever is missing is missing only in your heads.” It hit home then and will remain a useful reminder for years to come. Cheers, B@

Beat,

I am a huge fan of concentrating on your strengths. I came across Marcus Buckingham a few years ago, when he worked at Gallup and love his work. Then Marcus moved on and Tom became the Gallup expert on strengths. I actually interviewed Tom when he first promoted his strengths finder work. I need to dig it out – it was an audio.

Most people are not aware of what their strengths are and using Tom's book and the on-line questionnaire will really help. You also need to have the opportunities to exploit and use your strengths.

Great stuff, Beat.

Andrew

Andrew, glad to have found something to blog about that strikes your cords, too! Strengths-focus makes so much sense, yet is still largely an insider deal. That said, Marcus Buckingham did a Strengths series even at Oprah's – the word is getting out, so let's keep beating the Strengths drum with, well, all our strength. B@

Thanks Beat,

This is some mind opening stuff and a fresh perspective that I think a lot of people never look at. This is one that i'll certainly remember as focusing in on the positive and pushing those strengths is something that isn't taled about enough.

Love love love the strengths finder book. I can't say enough good things about it. I have taught the book, used it in workshops I've lead, and I even interviewed Jennifer Fox once – who did strengths finder for children. One of my favorite sayings when teaching life purpose: I may be GREAT at washing dishes – but this doesn't mean it is a strength. I've developed it, but I don't need to focus on it. Too often we focus on what we are good at, not what we love, are joy, our internal natural strengths. Thanks for having this conversation!

Hi Beat, Your twitter button above doesn't work quite right. didn't shorten, and put in your full twitter url not the twitter id…? I know you'll delete this

I liked the article but not sure I agree with “Successful men and women dream of doing more work, not less.” Knowing quite a few myself they all either don’t do anywhere near as much work as they used to, or are looking forward to retiring early. I understand the principle behind it, and I love my work, but dreaming of doing more work, I’m not so sure.

Mitch, couldn't agree more re not talked about enough. Imagine TV and Washington if the talking heads would focus on the positive and push strengths – and not only their own! – for an hour a day. Okay, an hour a week … lol … B@ PS. Btw, another essentially strengths-based program is the One Minute Manager (Ken Blanchard / Spencer Johnson). The audio version is awesome.

Michelle, thanks for a) sharing your love for the book, b) kind words, c) mentioning Jennifer Fox (didn't know there was a strengths finder for kids) and d) making the very good dish washing point. Need versus choice – BIG difference. Even every “I must tell you” is a reminder of the stress many people carry with them in their daily lives. B@

After reading your post it occurred to me that deciding on your strengths without reference to others is quite difficult. Yet we constantly advise not to care what others think or what they do. A tulip will still compare herself with other tulips as a way of determining her strengths, or to determine what is special or unique about her.
Perhaps we need to recognise comparison is inevitable, but use it in a positive way to find strengths?

David, agree completely. In addition to it being inevitable – without comparisons we'd be lost (an euphemism) – to each coin two sides. Traffic causes accidents, but serves us greatly. So it is with comparisons, they serve us greatly, but … The question, “Who likely validates their current condition by using irrelevant comparisons, successful or unsuccessful people?” receives the “unsuccessful” answer 99% of the time. Does that make it “good” or “bad”? Regardless, it's a question of choice, and often – as you point out – depends on Circum's Dance. When I watch Federer for two weeks, my tennis teams says I'm playing better, so I have clearly compared myself to Federer with great benefit. The other side of the coin is that comparing ourselves to others, depending on the degree to which we do it, can lead to feelings of either superiority or inferiority – to feelings of either pride or shame. Shame, well, no-one can feel bad enough so it cannot be made worse by adding shame, and pride can lead to arrogance and even hate (e.g. racial, religious). In recovery programs, comparison is discouraged because it hinders acceptance of emotional problems or character defects. To use your words, may each find ways to use comparisons in ways that strengthen them. Cheers, B@

I agree with you completely. Rath's book is great! The truth is you and only you control your attitude. Focus on being in control no matter what others say or do is empowering. I recommend Frankel's “Man's Search for Meaning” to understand how to do that better. Frankel gently removes all your excuses.

Joel, different folks, different strokes. Of course, the Michael Jordans and Paris Hiltons, and the world's retired people are for real, too. I hope I didn't come across as lacking respect. The successful men and women I had in mind for my post would be in the “public domain”, i.e. famous enough to be a reference to most readers, and clearly not doing it for the money anymore. Forbe's (list of) richest people all appear to keep themselves busy working, and that's in large part without even counting all the volunteers, social workers, research and the arts (you'll notice the world's richest people are investors, followed by business wo/men, followed by entertainers, followed by … soon, bloggers! … lol) B@

Bruce, thanks for your feeback. We're in sync on both accounts, Rath's and Frankl's. Frankl's book and story has been a life changing transformational experience, with the seed planted about a dozen years ago, and growing since. I owe the discovery of is-ness (as opposed to could've-should've-would've-ness) to Frankl – dead by the time it happened for me, but very much alive. B@

When a blogger gets on the rich list I'll know we've made it!

The internet billionaire rich list http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8562379.stm

hello Beat,
I love that line, “figure out what makes you stand out.” We spend so much time trying to blend in that we forget who we are and what we like to do. We all bring something different to the table. Part of the fun is in discovering that “thing” that we offer that explains why we’re here on the planet at this time – that certain gift that we bring to share with others.

This is my favorite part of your article:

“fact is, work which appeals to your strengths and is aligned with your purpose in life will elevate you and benefit you in every way. People who love their work are in the average three times more likely to have and outstanding quality of life, too”

I couldn't agree more. I cannot tell you how many professional people whom I know that don't like their work, and simply count the days until they can retire. I like my work, but I do hope to do something a bit more fulfilling in the future. I know having a job that I love, instead of just a job that I “like” would really make a difference in my quality of life.

Thanks for a great article!

Thanks, Lisa, for your comments. I find it, too – not liking one's work, or giving it a simple “It's okay”, for quite a segment of the population seems the cool thing to do. “I love my work” is the uncool thing to do and rather suspicious – “What is s/he hiding?” PS. Whether work is fulfilling or not has more to do with how we regard it than with the work itself, does it not? Have a wonderful day. B@

One more thing, finding work that makes you happy is key to staying young from the inside out. We breathe evenly when we're relaxed and engrossed in doing the work we love. Feeling appreciated warms us up and positions us to share the (love) wealth with others.

Cheryl, thanks for your enthusiastic feedback – all the more meaningful that it comes from one who hasn't waited for some blogged advice to stand out. even your domain name stands out. wtg! B@

I like that “be yourself – besides everyone else is already taken.” Funny, but gets the point across.

There's no doubt you do a better job on something that uses your strengths, and when you're doing something you love. Figuring out where you really stand out, and focusing on that… well, if more people were doing that, more jobs/tasks would be well done.

Thought provoking post.

Thanks for your comment. The “everyone else already taken” piece is loosely quoting funny man Oscar Wilde. Reminds me of another true&funny one: You can't have everything – where would you put it? Cheers, B@

Great post. I love the idea of not focusing on the result, but what causes the result. It seems this will set you up to “avoid” failure and instead have lots of productive learning experiences.

Brian, thanks for your comment. Your observation is my experience – focus on the sensations while working, as opposed to focus on results only, greatly increases learning, and enjoyment. Cheers, B@

When we go to work as adults, we usually pick a field we're skilled in, and have very few collisions with our weaknesses. We may have new things to learn, but they aren't in our weaknesses, they play to our strengths.

I'm a teacher, and the one thing I think where the K-12 school model completely fails is forcing students to work harder on their weak subjects than on their strong subjects. It's completely counter-intuitive to the requirements of the working world.

Yes, America needs some big education reform, but it should include alternative education models and not just making students work harder on subjects in which they have no interest and may never use again. One subject I consider too repetitive and of little use after graduation is intensive English grammar. Basic grammar knowledge is necessary for good writing. It allows one to find proper structures in a grammar reference book when writing. More time should be spent on reading, critical analysis and writing, and less on intensive memorization of grammar. Unless one majors in English in college, he or she will not diagram a sentence again until their own children start bringing home grammar homework.

I don't hate grammar, I'm just using it as an example.

Great topic! The world would have far greater self esteem if everyone spent more time on their strengths,
Sherri

Sherri, first off, congrats and thank you for being a teacher. Grammar is such a great example! School's eyes are mostly on form, leaving precious little on content. Imagine courage & consideration gets you an A – regardless of grammar – and arrogance & deceit gets you an F – even if grammatically perfect. There's the story of the person who spoke 12 languages, grammatically perfect, yet had nothing to say … lol … Cheers, B@

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote, Beat.

Thank you for sharing it.

I always love what I do and constantly looking for some crazy new stuff to do. ; )

Raymond, the best way to get more life into life! All you need is love for what you are/have AND for crazy new stuff … lol